I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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