Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize