She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
