oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
