no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the day after is always just damage control
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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