Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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