woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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