do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize