then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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