So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
