Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
