those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Bring me that man meat
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
