Dual....:-)
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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