We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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