ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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