You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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