Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
