i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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