You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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