I think I died a long time ago.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize