if i died would you start the facebook group?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
