STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
