that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize