also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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