you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Drunk is not a location!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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