i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
