Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
