I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
