your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
