I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
