Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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