You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
