So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
