This girl is more easily done than said...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize