I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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