I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
