You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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