yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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