Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
