Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize