Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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