I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
