Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
