but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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