It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
