If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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