You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
