Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
