Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize