Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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