please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
