I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have aggressive nipples.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
