one two three fourrrrnication!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
