So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize