i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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