did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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