Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
