You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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