Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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