dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
