it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
