At least make sure they are 18
Why
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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