i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
