Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
