very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
