One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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