if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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