I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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