ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
