just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
