You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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