Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm always down for nudity.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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