He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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