Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
